Jugs, Melons, Knockers, Fun Bags, Bombs ?!?

It was only a matter of time… Terrorists have wandered into the land of breast augmentation surgery. Of course, this particular surgery ends with a bang.

Britain’s MI5, the British equivalent to the United States’ CIA, has uncovered a plot to have explosives implanted into the breasts or buttocks of a suicide bomber. After implantation, the terrorist can presumably move freely, passing through security checkpoints with ease. In fact, the new full body scanners that are being touted as the best new defense against terrorists would be fairly useless against such a threat.

It’s funny how this works, though… Islamic extremists claim to be very devoted to their faith. They hate the west and everything it represents. Women are basically non-entities who have no rights and are to remain covered at all times, can’t leave their homes without a male relation as an escort, etc. If that’s the case, how can they justify using breast implants as weapons? Women are not trustworthy, shouldn’t be given responsibility, etc., yet they’re relied upon to be suicide bombers? Way to make sense..

At any rate, this particular technique has the potential of being quite effective. According to Australian counter-terrorism experts, the only real defense against this would be bomb-sniffing dogs. And I have to wonder how effective that would be as well. Implants are sealed. Add to that the implantation into the breast area, which would heal over time. I expect that the time it takes to heal combined with the sealed nature of the implant would remove any scent that could be detected.

Detonation of the explosive device is quite easy. Bombers can easily pose as diabetics, allowing them to pass through security with needles and vials of a catalyst agent. When they want to detonate the explosive, it’s as simple as injecting the catalyst into the implant.

That isn’t to say that this method would be completely effective. Surely there would be injuries, but there are some limitations to the damage that could be done. First, the human body acts as a buffer against explosions. As demonstrated numerous times on the battlefield, jumping on a grenade can save those around you from being injured in the resulting explosion. However, if the implant was designed as a shape charge, it may be possible to direct the energy in such a way to make the resulting explosion truly devastating. To be effective, however, I believe the bomber would have to position themselves against the part of the plane they are trying to destroy. This, surely, would be noticeable.

It remains to be seen if the terrorists will follow through with such a plot, and whether they will be any more effective at triggering the explosive as they have been in the past. Thus far, the ineptitude of Al-Queda plotters has prevented any major mishaps. Still, the law of averages says they’ll succeed eventually. The question is, will we be able to stop them before they do?


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